


Talking About the Hard Things

by kwinke



Series: Post-Cannon and All Is Well [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:53:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwinke/pseuds/kwinke
Summary: Kravitz finally feels comfortable enough to talk about his past, and Magnus and Taako are nothing if not the most understanding and loving boyfriends.





	Talking About the Hard Things

Magnus finds him reading alone in the den with a hot cup of tea, which he is wont to do on a particularly rainy day that the Queen does not call him into work.  He’s made himself comfortable on the couch that is in there across from the fireplace, and the lack of light in the room is made up for by the crackling fire that lights Kravitz and his book angelically.

Magnus pauses at the doorway and leans against the frame, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is. The sleeves of his button down are rolled to his elbows, and he’s chosen to kick his shoes off against the door so that he can rest his socked feet on the footrest and warm the soles of his feet. He is breathtaking, and Magnus takes a second to thank Istus and the Raven Queen and whoever else there is to thank that he gets to spend the rest of his life watching this perfect being live and love and exist alongside of him.

He finally chooses a time to step into the room, and Kravitz makes a face like he recognizes that he is no longer alone but needs to find a good place to stop his book. Magnus walks slowly to the footrest and sets down beside Kravitz’ feet, waiting for the man to finish his paragraph.

It doesn’t take long, but in the meantime Magnus takes Kravitz’ right foot into his lap and begins rubbing circles into its sole. Kravitz presses a bookmark into his page as he sets the book aside and groans at the pleasure of the much needed foot rub. He watches Magnus fondly as the man’s fingers work their way into his muscles and free up tension he didn’t know a constructed body could hold.  He is thankful for the small things that his body allows him to experience.

Magnus sets the right foot to his side and scoots between Kravitz’ legs, taking his left foot into his lap now.  Kravitz blushes as he adjusts to the new position, allowing the man to finagle his body however he needs to continue this pleasurable experience.  He watches Magnus’ face and realizes that he’s trying his best to come up with a way to say something, and the amount of time it has taken him to not just come out right and say it swells anxiety deep in his soul 

“My love, what is on your mind?” Kravitz eventually asks, and Magnus looks up from his work and deep into the dark red eyes that watch him.  He should’ve practiced this ahead of time, should’ve thought about what it was that he wanted to say before he even walked into this room. Instead, he did the Magnus Rushes In thing and without even thinking about it just interrupted Kravitz’ perfectly fine evening without even a plan.

The room flashes in light and there’s a loud thunder from the outside.  Magnus shivers at the deep storm that’s starting, which he knows will only do to calm Kravitz more. He picked the right time, he just hasn’t picked the right words yet.

“I just… I’m worried about you. I mean, Taako too but you know how he is with like talking and feeling and shit. So I just… I don’t know. Wanted to talk…?” Magnus stutters out. He can barely form a complete sentence, why he ever thought it would be a good idea to interrupt the Grim Reaper from his Relaxing Time was beyond him. And yet here he was, rubbing his feet, stuttering his worries to him in the middle of a thunder storm.

Kravitz wrinkles his forehead in concern and continues to watch his boyfriend with curiosity. “Why would you be worried about me?” He inquires honestly.  And now the ball is back in Magnus’ court to try to formulate his thoughts in the most effective and nonoffensive way he can.

“Like, you know that you can like… talk to us about anything, right? You have to know that we are entranced by you and would never leave you for anything. You can tell us anything” Magnus dances around the subject, still managing to hit on some key points that he wants to echo into Kravitz’ soul.  Kravtiz’ wrinkled forehead doesn’t iron out, and he cocks his head to the right wishing that he could read the man’s mind instead of trying to decipher what it is that he truly wants to discuss.

  
“Is this about my job? Do you want me to talk more in depth about my work? Because I can if you guys are interested, I just find it awfully boring after millennia of basically the same work, and a good portion of it _is_ confidential, but I suppose that wouldn’t really effect my ability to recount a day’s work if you’d like me to,” Kravitz rambles.

Kravitz takes a shot in the dark with that one. He knows that Taako and Magnus never really know how to ask about his work, because they don’t really understand what it is that he does. For a good chunk of time, Kravitz was lead to believe that Taako actually thought that Kravitz was permitted to somehow _eat_ the souls of the damned, which doesn’t even make sense logistically but who knows how that elf’s mind worked.

Magnus sighs and moves to hold Kravitz’ hands. He rubs circles into his palms. Kravitz feels anxiety bubbling into his chest at how uncomfortable Magnus is about whatever it is he wants to ask but can’t find the words to. He waits patiently, though, and tries to bid the anxiety away because Magnus has been nothing if not accommodating to his anxieties about the two of them leaving him. 

“Krav…” he begins, but then stops and bites his lip and looks away. Kravitz squeezes his hand and Magnus’ eyes rest on his and they’re filled with so much sadness it hurts.  “Krav, how did… how did you die?” He barely lets out.

He’s never been asked that before, so it takes a second for him to even comprehend the question. He’s never spoken about it, never reflected on it, barely even admitted it had happened. Of course, he had spent the last several millennia on a bit of a solo mission, flitting through life with no one to care for or to care about him. It was only recently, incredibly recently to him especially, that he had entered into a shared and committed relationship, radically changing the way that he acted and thought from before. He had never had someone care so deeply or intimately about him before, let alone two of the most incredible beings that the interplanar system had ever acquired.  He pondered this for a moment, lost in Magnus’ eyes that were filled to the brim with anxiety and adoration.

“Magnus,” he began and let his love flow into the name.  “Thank you for asking that,” he finished. And he meant it so incredibly much, because he had never had someone care about him enough to wonder how he had entered into the Astral Plane and began a never ending career of Reaping. Magnus’ eyes relaxed at his statement and, if possible, even filled with more love and adoration for his boyfriend.

And that’s how Kravitz told him. He began hesitantly, because talking about his life was something he had never done and so he had no practice in putting those dark thoughts into words. He told Magnus about the pain of being born into a gender he felt no connection with, into a family that couldn’t understand why he was so different.  They cried together as Kravitz talked about how different things were, how much more foreign queerness was and that he didn’t have any words for how he felt outside of a deep and interwoven hatred for who he was.

He told Magnus about the suicide.

He told Magnus about how he came to meet the Raven Queen, who refused to let him go into the Astral Plane because it wouldn’t even be safe for him there, and instead she held the pieces of his soul in her hands and wove them back together with threads of love and care for centuries before he was whole again. He told him about the century long training process, about meeting souls who were like him, and eventually who were not like him but who had been broken in their own ways but that the Queen had repaired just as delicately.

He talked about the Raven Queen like his mother, like his sole confidant, as the being that helped him to learn how to form his construct as he desired it to be, as someone who he felt confident and valued in. 

And Taako came in at some point, although Kravitz doesn’t remember exactly when, because the two of them had steady tears streaming down their cheeks when he entered silently and sat next to Magnus, taking Kravitz’ other hand and quietly falling into the story as if he had been there the whole time, crying with the other two boys. 

He told them about the years of trying out pronouns, of different body types, of different accents before he settled in on a ‘work’ Kravitz.  He told them about how the other Reapers found soulmates in the Astral Plane and in the Ethereal Plane and in the Material Plane but he never found anyone that caught his attention until he laid his eyes on the beefy fighter and the elf that threatened to “tentacle his dick”.  They laughed at their shared experience. 

And they cried at his anxieties, about finding a new ‘non-work’ Kravitz and creating that construct separate from his Reaper self that he had existed as for centuries. They cried at his reluctance to ever tell them about his past and what he had been through, about how many seas he had to cross before even becoming comfortable enough with himself to let them see him naked, let alone to let them hear his stories. But _gods above_ did he love them, as he had never in millennia after millennia never come close to loving another being as he did the two of them. And they held him and cried and thanked him for being _him,_ for being so irrevocably and indefinitely full of kindness and love and humor that he had no reason to be full of but he gave to them day after day after day 

And they held each other so closely next to the fire, so delicately as they had shared souls with each other, had shared life and death with each other, and they loved how they _loved_ so deeply and endlessly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I started writing this series because my partner had to go into a behavioral health hospital. He's been there for two weeks, but he finally gets out tomorrow! Thank you for supporting me and giving me an outlet to the anxiety I have been feeling since he started this process. I know that it's for the best, but that doesn't make the waiting any easier.
> 
> As always, feel free to leave constructive criticism/comments! <3


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